Marilyn | senseofplace

Why We Moved to Cape Cod

I recently made a short visit to the place I formerly called home. I had lived there, raised a family there, experienced life with all its attendant joys and sorrows there for thirty-two years. My closest friends and fondest memories were there. I had looked forward to this visit with both eagerness and a comfortable sense of nostalgia, especially because I had not been back there for a couple of years. It was curious then that I no longer felt any attachment to this physical location after all. Oh, I enjoyed seeing the hills and the great variety of deciduous trees that are non-existent here on Cape Cod, and I certainly was very happy to see my friends, but where was the well developed sense of belonging there I expected to feel? I could have been any other visitor to this place. Yes, it certainly was familiar, but it was no longer the place I called, or identified with as, home.

We've lived on Cape Cod for nearly seven years. We've been retired for twelve and thirteen years respectively. My husband was anxious to experience living in another environment almost right away. I was extremely resistant to moving away from my friends, who represented the family I never had, and the comfort and familiarity of the neighborhoods and places I frequented. Mostly, however, my friends. It took six years for the resistance to grow into reluctance and then acquiescence.

Originally, we had planned to move to Florida. Our daughter and her family were there as well as my mother, who was still living at the time. We looked diligently for over a year, going so far as to put a deposit down on a condominium. I burst into tears as I was preparing to sign the contract. I was not only not ready to move but I was not wanting to move to Florida. We decided we would look at Cape Cod, a place we have always liked well enough. It was a different enough environment to appeal to us as well. After a long search we found our present house.

It took me awhile to call this home. I mourned actively for my friends for about six months. I missed their presence and the fun and silliness we shared. I plunged into music, always my solace and joy, right away, and that helped me quite a bit. Thanks to the kindness of the people I made some new friends and was able to get involved in many activities, most of them new to me. I expanded my horizons and found great solace, interest, and joy in being close to the ocean. I even went from a strong dislike of oak trees and their brown leaves that hung like dirty rags on sticks all winter, to an appreciation of the subtleties of the landscape.

When I got off the bus after that visit back in time to the place I used to call home, I sniffed the salt air with appreciation and a sense of the familiar washed over me. I was home and this was definitely, and without question, my place. There are times in life when change is called for. Change of place and discarding the familiar is perhaps one of the most dramatic things one can do. The opportunity to have new experiences and to entertain new perspectives is worth it. Some people live out their whole lives in one place. I'm very glad I am not one of them.

Marilyn Schlansky